May 21, 2011

happy rapture!

If I am here tomorrow after the Rapture happens tonight at 6PM .... I promise to return and blog my heart out. Till then, I'm off to the cemeteries to plant some flowers and such for Memorial Day weekend (my weekend to work). Peace out!

May 14, 2011

how i spent my day.

I watched an elderly man turn green after having a heart attack. That was my Saturday afternoon. 
Then he had two more before being airlifted to the largest city in South Dakota. I am mentally drained.

May 7, 2011

t.v. viewing pleasure.

On National Geographic Channel tonight from around 4pm to 11pm I watched a marathon of Osama bin Laden's "10 Years of Terror." bin Laden gave out clues/hints and then TOLD US Military and others via video taped speeches that he was going to take down the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, the Capitol, Seattle's Needle and Chicago's Sears Tower. And no one believed him. And he was living in that compound for the past FIVE YEARS!!!!

I hope Americans are awake now!!!! He may be dead but he has thousands if not millions of followers. It is ALL pretty sick and disturbing.

Part of the marathon also reshowed countless of eye witnesses from 9/11 when the Towers were attacked and all of the other locations too. There I sat, eating sunflowers, watching so intently just like I did 10 years ago in my then townhouse. My heart started to beat fast -- all the while knowing the plot and the horrific ending to what I was watching....10 years ago, I didn't know.... what would happen in the end. Ten years later, it's still awful to watch.

I wonder if people from that day, who were directly involved, are still having nightmares?

May 5, 2011

an irish blessing.

May you be in Heaven
a half hour before 
the Devil knows you're dead.
I heard this blessing on May 3rd at a freebie luncheon at my work. I found it quite amusing considering a "nun in hiding" told a group of us before we bit into roast beef and cheesy potatoes. 

Okay, I'm finally over the fact that Osama bin Laden is now dead and fish food. I'm fine with that and my life can move on. What I cannot get over is.... that people are now saying it was illegal to kill him and a whole bunch of other brouhaha bullshit on him. Seriously, I do not think I'm completely over what took place on September 11, 2001 yet. 

All my brain wants to do is go back to Friday, April 29, 2011, and watch over and over and over, the wonderful fairy tale of true love of Prince William and his new bride, Kate. That's magical, and real, and breathtaking..... it brings out hope. Or at least it does for me. I love the thought of HOPE. 

Villains come and go. I'm fairly certain there will be another vicious villain in the making but how many true love fairy tale dreams can magically happen like what I saw on April 29, 2011?


May 4, 2011


This is how I am describing my current state of mind. Just coping. Today I went to work for a mere four and a half hours and it was filled with so much stress and tension that all I wanted to do was scream. And then she left. The one that makes my life hell there. And I had three and a half hours left. To cope. Tomorrow and Friday I work two 11 hour shifts then I get another four and a half days off to reload, relax, nap, do nothing. Cope.

We are having our very first major thunderstorm as I type. With lightening. And I just ate a box of strawberries. All one pound of them. And I wasn't even hungry. I'm coping.

It's not depression. I don't know what it is.
And I'm just coping.

May 1, 2011


The most prominent face of terror in America and beyond, Osama Bin Laden, has been killed in Pakistan, U.S. officials said Sunday night. Fresh from

I just finished eating my popcorn and slurping down my diet tea and on came Andy Cohen announcing his second guest would NOT be on tonight due to the fact that Osama Bin Laden is dead. I almost coughed up my heart and I started to shake. Literally. I quickly grabbed my phone and called my mom. She wasn't watching TV. I told her to turn it on NOW and get to CNN. We both were silent on the phone, we both were breathing loudly..... Oh my fucking God. I mean it. MY GOD, my God up in the sky, floating around... Justice has finally been served.

Then we thought... Will the war now end???? My heart was beating fast then and it's still beating fast now... 30 minutes after the fact. Jesus almighty. And I do mean the real Jesus.

I now have a headache. It's a pounding one. The headache. Last time my heart was beating so fast was when Elizabeth Smart had been found. Alive. And returned home. I was at work, the call center hell or the tin shed at the time. Working. At night. My heart was beating fast that night. Too.

This is surreal. Very very very surreal. I never thought they'd find him. Ever. It's also surreal to know that they have his body in US custody too.

And it happened on May Day. Insane, totally totally insane.