October 26, 2011


I am addicted to them. Hate the sweet kind though. I don't understand their purpose. But dill, give me a bucket of them and they'll be gone by bedtime. My other addiction: sunflower seeds. It's all I eat during my favorite teevee shows.

Tonight, is "American Horror Story" ... a new favorite even though I missed the pilot and still am trying to figure it all out. I still don't understand the guy with the half burned face. I read he was an old owner of the "house of murder" and he started a fire there and that's how he ended up looking like he does now. And I find him somewhat charming. I mean, he did, after all murder Hayden last week. With a shovel.

In less than two hours I go back to work. To start MY four and half days of work. I don't know how to feel about this or what to feel or anything other than I'm cold. I'm holding out on wearing socks and anything winter. It's pretty dreary out too. I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude too. I am. I have like a zillion positive little signs on my desktop. I read them. I get what they are telling me. But I just need to believe it.

And what I hate about going in at 2pm on Wednesdays is.... it takes me like a good 30 minutes to digest exactly what the hell is going on. A lot of shit has transpired since I was last there on October 21st. I always feel stupid just sitting there trying to regroup. And everyone walks by and says hi and I say hi back and then boom, I'm thrown in the trenches. Every second of that place is different. Nothing stays the same. Ever.

I'm eating hamburger pickles right now and I am not so okay with that. I bought a big ginormous jar of them on Saturday. I thought they'd last longer than the whole ones. But today, they aren't doing anything for me but upset my stomach. And that I hate.