March 18, 2011

missing matilda

Crazy day today. Woke up exactly at 4:47AM and had to pee. Badly. Then decided it was pointless to hit the snooze button so I cranked the heat up in my bathroom and got ready to shower. That completed, I got dressed and hung out watching mindless crap on TV and checking my facebook and emails. Headed to work to be greeted by .... <whew> we've been waiting for you..... a patient came in mega early for her AM procedure.

Between 5:45AM and when I left for lunch at 11:48AM ... it was a non stop blur of people, paperwork, transcribing, laughing, greetings, phone calls, more laughter, running up and down the ramp, delivering messages to other departments (on foot), up and down the elevator, up and down the flight of hard cement stairs, more people, whirls of sounds, bells and whistles and me ordering a sub sandwich at the local "deli" (aka gas station) in town... remember I know live in a hamlet that has no fast food places other than this "short order cook" place inside of a gas station. Not a truck stuck, a gas station.

After lunch....not so much busy but I got to leave by 5PM CST. To that, I got to see my mega adorable six month old little friend, got to hold her to boot while her mommy/also my cohort at my gig ....who also happens to live above out her super cool jogger stroller. Then my mom and I headed over to my high school classmates bar & grill for "The Mimi" chicken breast club and fries... she for the "all you can eat" fish buffet. She plays the Catholic game of LENT while I choose to ignore the game or rules that go along with being a Recovering Catholic. And I sinned once more and ate chicken. Bawk bawk!

And that was my day.

It's getting down to crunch time now of completing my two 16"x20" commissioned paintings of the two 2nd grade classes at ironically, a Catholic grade school in the village I lived in for nearly 12 years. Plus two 16"x12" paintings I have to donate my time and talent for their April 16th Silent Auction at their fancy schmancy Gala event. I did this last year and my art went over smashingly well.

My nephew is 14 today. I haven't seen him in 2 years. I will get to see him over the 4th of July when they motor over here from Seattle, Washington. He's an interesting kid. I like him a lot. Just wish I could see him more often than when his parents or ah my sister decides when they visit and when they don't. Sure I could go there, if I had any money, but I don't. And what little I do, goes for buying new Crocs or buying Funyuns or other mindless goop for my own pleasure and sanity.

I work the next two days -- both 11.5 hour shifts with two icky people. Tomorrow will simply suck in terms of I know I won't laugh much or even smile much unless we get new patients in. But I have a couple of newspaper articles to write and some stuff to create for my supervisor. I need excitement up there otherwise it'll be a long ass haul.

Then I ended my day by harassing my upstairs neighbor, Mark while he was grilling ground deer meat as burgers through my window while he was in the BBQ section of the complex. I must post a photo so all of you will NOT visualize us having a nice spread of three grills out our door ... it's like the redneck version of three crapass looking beat up old grills on ill fitted bricks on our crappy grass blended with a lot of mud, etc etc.....

Sleepiness is hitting me hard right now. I think I'll change into my jammies and watch a bit more of "Say Yes to the Dress" and hit the lights in about 20 minutes.... praying that Mister Sandman comes a callin' around 9:30PMish. But before I sign off for good.... while eating with my mom grandmother Matilda popped into my thoughts while staring at my mom.

While telling my mom how annoying I am getting with the hourly siren whistles going off at 7AM, 12Noon, 6PM and then 9PM ....every single day. It's like hearing the tornado whistle that warns us Prairie People a pending twister is within arm's reach.... And remember this is not only my grandmother's birth place, but also my mom's and her older brother's too. So missing Matilda truly sprang alive while chomping on my non-Lenten meal. My mom mentioned something about the 9PM siren and how all of the town kids knew to go inside and get ready for Mister Sandman....

She then proceeded to tell me something very similar from my childhood when I'd stay at my Grandmother Matilda's home. It was like a flood of fresh memories. I could hear my grandmother talking in Czech. I could see her very worn out tired hands. I could feel the roughness on her calloused hands too. I could smell the fresh baked sugar cookies on the counter. And the teeny tiny chocolate chips she'd use as eyes or buttons on her delicious sugar cookies too. The quaintness of their cute little house that was painted white.

I really wonder, can they see me now? Are they proud of what I've become? Are they happy I've moved to their hometown? Can they tell when I'm feeling down or sad or overwhelmed? In my own world, I do like to think, they can see me. And they are proud of me. And then DO know when I wish they were still near. Deep deep down, I can still feel my grandmother's rough hands wrapped around me, like a good Czech does. Oh how I miss you so.